Jordan Castro

taketheatrain:

i had a dream

that jordan castro

visited my family

at christmas

he wouldn’t stop crying 

June 01, 2012, 3:02am   Notes

over the past year or so, ‘peterbd,’ the anonybro i know only as the person who’s sent weird emails to me and some of my friends, has occasionally emailed me some verses about me, ohio and other things. i re-read them the other night and enjoyed them. here they are.

july 29, 2011 – a snippet from the mid 90’s notorious b.i.g lost freestyle entitled: castro flow

niggas is mad how jordan at the top of the literary game
fuck a hater writes his prose in the fast lane
trill as hell, spendin crazy notes
kill at random, nigga go for broke
what ya tote
more words than roses, foes is,
fuming with their wackness,
invisible writers like alighieri,
go to hell, vamoose, your dead to him
take those stanzas and burn the fuck outta dem
jordan sees
the lameness, the trife lyrics,
your words are depressing, a headache, stupid fuck you’ll regret it
you’re mad cause his style you’re admiring,
don’t throw shade, amazon.com is hiring,
you shoulda been a maid…fuck the lit world,
with that exposition, castro’s bound to steal your girl
he aint from ny but he respects lebowitz
laughs at all your shit
he can’t be fucked with, uhh 

august 15, 2011 – things you’ll realize while taking a summer vacay in ohio

you’ll realize ohio has many races
you’ll realize some people in ohio speak with a southern twang
you’ll realize people in ohio like chilli (with a boatload of shredded cheese on top)
you’ll realize that if you land in the cincinatti airport you are technically in kentucky and will be unsure of your whereabouts for a large period of time
you’ll realize alot of people in ohio are nice
you’ll realize some people in ohio are not so nice
you’ll realize cincinnati has a zoo
you’ll realize cincinnati’s zoo is also a botanical garden
you’ll realize the best attraction in the cincinatti zoo/botanical garden is it’s mountain gorilla
you’ll realize that if you attempt to hop the fence and party with the mountain gorilla, you will be dejected from the cincinatti zoo/botanical garden and asked never to return
you’ll realize neil armstrong is from ohio
you’ll realize the guy who boned jessica simpson and divorced her for unknown reasons is from ohio
you’ll realize stephen speilberg is technically from ohio
you’ll realize stephen baldwin is definitely not from ohio
when someone tells you they’re from wapakoneta you’ll realize that it’s cool as hell to be from a town with such a name
you’ll realize moving to wapakoneta would be great
you’ll realize you have to go to wapakoneta and get drunk with the locals, have sex with a stranger, and attend church services in the morning to appease your sins
you’ll realize you’ve gotten your fill of wapakoneta
you’ll realize you’ve given a bad rap to ohio and vow to visit it more often
you’ll go to skyline chilli and realize you don’t really like chilli, but want to do as the romans do
you’ll realize you only have one more night in ohio and want to go out with a bang
you’ll realize that you’re too exhausted to go out with a bang and head to bed early to catch your flight in the morning
you’ll realize the next day you’re angry when your flight is delayed for five hours
you’ll say ‘fuck ohio’ and realize you should have taken an earlier flight
you’ll chat with venus williams at the terminal and realize this delayed flight was a blessing in disguise (it aint everyday you meet a tennis pro!)
you’ll finally bid adieu to ohio and realize that you can’t wait to visit again
before take-off you’ll realize that you have to write about your exploits and email them to someone who may or may not give a shit about trips to ohio
you’ll realize lil bow wow is from ohio and ohio will lose some cool points in your mind
as the plane takes off you’ll realize skyline fries are your favorite food of all fucking time.

october 16, 2011 – rick ross hustlin’ (the lost verse)

who you think that you messin with, he’s the fucking truth
castro in this bitch, his relevance is bulletproof 
he’s next in line, he did his time, he takes no slack
what, did you write that? lister you fucking wack 
j.c. is getting money, haters scream that’s a sin
he got mad motherfuckers wishing that they never been
he knows franzen, jonathan, the real franzen
a day in the life of the midwest king
he’s not stupid people, the mans not insane 
writes the illest prose and afterwords slings cocaine 
legit presence, his paper right
he got these lame ass writers running back to 9 to 5s
when his shit comes out it mirrors an extravaganza 
castro got suckers murked for composing mundane stanzas

jan 30, 2012 – castro interlude

the boy castro’s doing his thing

countin mad stacks like an indie lit king

laughin at the haters who wanna throw shade

stuck at the bottom while cas is paid

love from his fans from coast to coast

shits in the bag, he don’t have to boast

in 2012 he’s just all about stuntin

fuckin all day because all the girls love him

drugs and booze with an attitude

writin shit that you’ll read cause a don doesn’t lose

May 30, 2012, 2:59pm   Notes